Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can count

Is the Donald Trump Bible any different from a regular Bible? Has Trump altered its contents?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What are some ten strong legal evidences that are needed for a divorce?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Can anyone or anything overthrow your belief in the Jewish God?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

How did you become popular in school?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Why does it smell so bad? I noticed that when I move around my vagina has a stench. It’s usually a wet liquid, almost like pee. There’re little to no discharge and it doesn’t hurt or itch.

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Is it possible for humans to determine their past life as an animal? Is there a scientific method to prove this?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What was the hottest inappropriate sex you ever had?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I’m a man. Why do I always fantasize about men’s cock? I don’t want a relationship with the man, I just want to suck his cock.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Do women really cheat more than men?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

The Roman Empire at the time of Christ kept meticulous records. Why then, is there no record of the trial of Jesus?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I see through liars

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have a reading level above third grade